So I went to my allergist last Friday. He informed me I am allergic to cats and dogs. I have 4 cat=s and a dog next door that I walk daily.
He gave me a new allergy nose spray and a nasal wash. I was very happy with this for a day.
Then the headache came. It wouldn’t leave.
By Sunday I was in bed in the dark trying not to die.
Tuesday the headache was horrible. I took a nap. When I awoke I couldn’t see straight. I put on my glasses, still wrong.
I go in the bathroom and look in the mirror. My pupils are uneven.
So I call my husband and we go to the ER. I spent 5 hours there being tested.
They gave me 2 shots of morphine. An IV of Depakote to get rid of the headache and redialate my pupils.
I have been miserable since.
I am tired of being weird. I am abnormal and I dislike it most greatly.
I would love to wake up one day and feel good. To feel like a normal person.
I have always wanted to be that lean,healthy woman who hikes and bikes and does yoga. Drinks mineral water and glows.
I never will be. That should be ok. But it isn’t.
It makes me very unhappy. It makes me want to be someone else.
It makes it hard to be happy. It makes me want to crawl under the blankets and hide. Which I do , often.
I should be grateful for the fact that I can get out of bed. That I can walk a dog. That I can see.
There are just moments that make me want to give up and run.
I have more allergy testing on the 5th of august.
Also going to a rheumatologist. Time to get something for the RA and fibromyalgia.
I should be happy. But I am not.
Maybe its my attitude.