Sometimes, just sometimes I get so fed up and annoyed.
I have 3 autoimmune diseases, 3!!
I know I am in better health then some. I know I should count my blessings.
But ya know what? I’m pissed.
This may be tmi , but Friday I woke up pooping blood. I called and went straight to my doctor.
Exam , blood tests and so on.
Results today?? Nothing out of range. Great blood results.
Yes. But WTF then?
Basically my doctors have been telling me this for years, ” you’re just not going to feel good most of the time”.
There is no treatment for fibromyalgia really. Not one my body tolerates. There’s nothing to help celiac except strict and pain in the arse diet.
RA can be treated and as soon as my state stops flooding I will get to mine.
I don’t know of anything more depressing than knowing you’re going to wake every day feeling like shit.
I’m 43. This sucks.
I look for alternative medicine. Well I live in BFE. I am 150 miles from the rheumatologist I’m going to see.
No acupuncture. No massage therapists.
I love living here. This is a great place. Everyone for together to fill sand bags so we won’t flood. Hopefully.
But when it comes to being sick, wrong place to be.
I stabbed a goat head sticker in my finger 2 weeks ago pulling it out of my dogs paw. It’s infected. Well of course it is!!!
I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. Feeling a bit stabby!!
People wonder why I get suicidal. This is why.
And if one more person tells me all I have to Do is pray and it will all go away, they’re going to meet their maker before their time.
I have to accept this. It’s been 25 years. I have to accept I’m never going to be the person I wanted to be.
Just let the person I am shine through. Allow myself to be happy just being me. With my illness, my flaws and my good points.
Huh easier said than done.
But hey, I’ve plenty of time to figure it out.