Tag Archives: celiac

What a pain

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Sometimes, just sometimes I get so fed up and annoyed.

I have 3 autoimmune diseases, 3!!

I know I am in better health then some. I know I should count my blessings.

But ya know what? I’m pissed.

This may be tmi , but Friday I woke up pooping blood. I called and went straight to my doctor.

Exam , blood tests and so on.

Results today?? Nothing out of range. Great blood results.

Yes. But WTF then?

Basically my doctors have been telling me this for years, ” you’re just not going to feel good most of the time”.

Gosh thanks.

There is no treatment for fibromyalgia really. Not one my body tolerates. There’s nothing to help celiac except strict and pain in the arse diet.
RA can be treated and as soon as my state stops flooding I will get to mine.

I don’t know of anything more depressing than knowing you’re going to wake every day feeling like shit.

I’m 43. This sucks.

I look for alternative medicine. Well I live in BFE. I am 150 miles from the rheumatologist I’m going to see.
No acupuncture. No massage therapists.
I love living here. This is a great place. Everyone for together to fill sand bags so we won’t flood. Hopefully.

But when it comes to being sick, wrong place to be.

I stabbed a goat head sticker in my finger 2 weeks ago pulling it out of my dogs paw. It’s infected. Well of course it is!!!

I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. Feeling a bit stabby!!

People wonder why I get suicidal. This is why.

And if one more person tells me all I have to Do is pray and it will all go away, they’re going to meet their maker before their time.

I have to accept this. It’s been 25 years. I have to accept I’m never going to be the person I wanted to be.

Just let the person I am shine through. Allow myself to be happy just being me. With my illness, my flaws and my good points.

Huh easier said than done.
But hey, I’ve plenty of time to figure it out.

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My mom is bat shit crazy, and other crap.

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I am sitting here at 2 am because I am in pain. I very stupidly ate soy sauce yesterday. DUH!!!

Didn’t realize till I was half way home why I felt like crap. So I am in agony. As any celiac knows, even a tiny bit stays with you for days.

I have also gone back to being dairy free. Any idea how hard it is to eat??? It is amazing. I lost 5 pounds of swelling in 3 days. So I guess its worth it.

As for my mom. Well, where to start. She is a misogynist. Not joking at all! My sister and I could be the best people in the world, best bodies, best lives, best everything and she would still hate us.

Her 2 sons are total douchecanoes, but she adores them. They haven’t spoken to my parents in years. Yet she would welcome them with open arms.

Me, she tells me I am fat and lazy. I don’t clean my house. I should get rid of my cats because they cost too much. Oh and my husband doesn’t like me because he actually goes places without me.  Blah blah blah

8 months ago I was living my life down in Florida. I hated it there. I get the celiac diagnosis. I change everything.

Then 2 months ago my landlady of 5 years decides she isn’t renewing my lease. Really? WTF???

So I get on the phone, call my Dad. He packs up and comes down to get me. My mother hates this because she is away from the Game Show Network for way to freakin long.

We move here to a tiny town. Less than 400 people. Across the street from my parents. That’s great. I adore my Dad. He is the best. My mom, meh not so much.

She doesn’t like people going outside. Or not watching tv every second of the day. She is obsessed with the Weather Channel!

It is sad to admit, I have nothing in common with her. At all. She might as well have given me up at birth. Actually I think she did. Daddy was my buddy. I did everything with him.

Ah well, win some, lose some.

I have wonderful friends and nieces and nephews. A fab husband.

I am back in Colorado. I love it here. I grew up here.

I have loads of doctors appointments in the next couple of months. Getting new doctors sucks. I have had the same docs for years. Now I get to start all over again.

Hopefully she will believe in the things I have wrong with me. Otherwise, onward to bigger cities.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom. She just isn’t the mom I had long ago. Or maybe its me. Maybe I am not the daughter she had long ago.

Either way, I am here for the duration.

 

Fat or thin, we are all humans.

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It amazes me. In the US on average people spend $65 billion a year on weight loss and dieting. In all this time and research, really all one needs to do to lose weight is eat less move more. There are exceptions to this rule. There are genetics one can fight for a lifetime. I do not care what anyone says, genetics play a huge role in how we look. I have 3 chronic diseases that keep me from being active every day. I do what I can, when I can. Yes I am overweight.  I am not unhealthy. I have good blood pressure, good cholesterol and heart rate. I can walk and hike for miles. I don’t fall over and die. … Those are the good days. The bad days I don’t get up till 2-3 in the afternoon because I hurt so much I can’t. This does not make me a target for thin people to say I am lazy and disgusting.
People who know nothing of nutrition and genetics. People who only see thin is right, fat is wrong. Everyone is different. We can not all be held to a standard made by the government.
BTW, have you seen most of them? Overweight ,drinking, smoking, eating whatever they want. Yet these people are telling us we are obese. We are a drain on resources. We make medical insurance overpriced.
Well, I for one am sorry to be such a burden on the society. The society that encourages people to never leave the house by giving them everything they want on a computer, phone and wii games.
I have an anxiety disorder, still I go outside. I garden. I walk. I hike with my husband. I walk to the post office. I clean. I organize my home. I eat good healthy food. I have to. I have celiac disease. I have fibromyalgia. I have RA.
I am a size 14. I am healthy, most days. I am happy to be a daughter, sister, aunt, friend, wife. I am a person. I have feelings. I have a heart. I love and am loved.
What part of this makes me a target for your disgust??? Just askin.