Why do I bother?

One would think after all these years that one would stop being curious.
I dropped out of the news and television world 14 years ago. We lived in DC during the Clinton/ Monica fiasco. I couldn’t take any more so I stopped watching tv, reading the paper or watching the news.
But every now and then something , one thing will catch my eye. I’ll keep seeing it until I have to know what it is.
As usual I instantly regret it.
I am a freak. My family knows, my husband knows, my friends know.
That is why I am up at 1am after listening to a hypnosis session that was supposed to make me sleep. It woke me up.
I actually went to bed tired and this thing ruined it.
I am generally a happy person.
If I could accept that I am a freak and fly my freak flag with pride, we would all be better off.